Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also, beer. Big fan.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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