hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
