i love accidental penises.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
