I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize