I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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