If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
