I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
