you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
