Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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