the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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