Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
