yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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