so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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