More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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