he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Congratulations! We have a period
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