it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
