I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
