don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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