Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize