i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize