My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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