Sry I called you an 8
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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