ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
