Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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