Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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