you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
