my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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