The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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