dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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