At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
