You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
