I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
