Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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