You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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