I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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