Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
