dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
