he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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