She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
