So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
