Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
