i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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