I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It's Friday. Sex?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Boobs speak an international language.
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