Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
