i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
