just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
