Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
