Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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