Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
