He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
