i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize