I need to stop coming to work sober
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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