does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
