Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
