i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Oh god it's open bar.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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