It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
